That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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