When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
