And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
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Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
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Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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