she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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