I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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