I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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