Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
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Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
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He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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