I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize