me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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