they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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