Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
