i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
