dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
