Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
