Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
