I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Jerry, you need to find god
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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