if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
