absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
