i may or may not be watching the land before time
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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