You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
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you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
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If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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