The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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