I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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