She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
