So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
