Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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