If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
