Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
