I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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