Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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