just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
