I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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