Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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