Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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