Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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