GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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