is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
