let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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