and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
