dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
