In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
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We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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