he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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