He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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