Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
honey bunches of taint.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
