hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
