The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.