We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.