I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
And the cops told us we were all naked.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.