Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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