Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
