Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
