Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
