I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
