I could make wine with my vomit
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
