you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
