No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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