your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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