Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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