and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get me chipped asap
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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