That's intense
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
where am i from again
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
