I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
