Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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