What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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