She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
