maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you would pick up someone in the library
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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