Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
