Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
