I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
