i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
