how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He has the fingertips of a God
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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